I don’t enjoy being in a car for long if I’m not driving or in the front. Quite frequently nowadays, if I’m relegated to the backseat of a car while my friends are driving, I’m not in the best mood for the duration of the drive. I’ve come to realize this is because of two reasons: 1) I don’t trust the majority of my friend’s driving abilities, and 2) the backseat is very, very uncomfortable for me in most cars due to my height. The feeling of panic as your friend turns quickly at a stop sign while another car is approaching uncomfortably close or my legs firmly pressed against the front seat as I feel them stiffening due to the lack of room are the first thoughts that come to my mind on this subject. The cars I ride in also don’t help: David’s Toyota Tacoma, Caleb’s Blue Boat of a car, John’s Grandma-mobile, and Keagan’s white mom Jeep Renegade ALL have small backseats, so I’m virtually guaranteed to be uncomfortable if I get tossed back there. I also enjoy the liberty of being able to drive and being in the front seat. What’s there not to love? I get to be on Aux, go where I want to, and drive at my preferred speed. At the end of the day, I love going out for a drive or taking my friends somewhere to go.

My preference for driving correlates with my preference for being in the driver’s seat. Being in charge feels natural to me. I enjoy moving people and getting them to where we all want to go. I couldn’t give an exact time or date this started but at one point I mentally decided that taking the lead was something I enjoyed and that has naturally followed me throughout life. National Junior Honor Society, 4-H, FFA, FIJI, and captaining a boat at Shasta are all examples of eventually finding my way into the driver’s seat and being in charge at some point. And whenever I’m not in the driver’s seat, it feels weird. It’s not “I can’t live without taking control” weird, but more of an unnatural feeling type of weird. Like you’re sitting in the back of a car and you don’t fit comfortably weird. At the beginning of last week, I had this feeling.

At the beginning of the spring term, all the fraternities undergo formal recruitment. Oregon State’s process during spring is much more laid-back than fall recruitment. IFC, as a whole, recruits way less during this time than at the beginning of the year. Last week, it was time for us to go through formal recruitment. And for the first time since Fall 2021, I wasn’t in the driver’s seat. In 2022, I was in charge of recruiting. In 2023, I ran the events, was president, and oversaw my recruitment chairmen. Now, it was a completely different story. What has typically been a week full of stress-induced headaches and worry over a numerical goal of new men joining the fraternity was an oddly situated feeling of calm as I headed into the 348. I wasn’t leading us in reaching our goal of X number of new members. Instead, I was being led and directed to converse with a Potential New Member or enjoy something the fraternity chef cooked up. At first, it felt weird. But I grew to enjoy not being in that driver’s seat.

I was extremely burnt out when I reached the end of my fraternity presidency in December. The last couple of years were great, and I’m proud of my work, but I needed to take some time away and be left alone for a while. Having to run recruitment yet another time would have been counterproductive to the fraternity as I would not have been able to put in a level of effort I would have been proud of. And secondly, I felt very comfortable with the people driving, Suge (whose name is also coincidentally Colby) and Campbell. They were so natural with their ability to talk with a guy they had never met or casually direct the active brothers to a place or a conversation where they were needed. At the end of the day, they signed 13 new members for spring. That is impressive for two reasons: 1) Fiji usually does horribly for spring recruitment, and 13 new members put us in the top 5 for all fraternities, and 2) the quality of these new guys is nearly unmatched. They will all be outstanding contributors to our fraternity’s success. Campbell and Suge made it look easy. And fraternity recruitment is the farthest thing from it. They will be successful this fall, and it wouldn’t surprise me if they broke the record set two years ago by the class I helped recruit.

I’ve slowly come to a better understanding of my relationship with being in charge. It is a preference, but it is not a requirement. Most of the work I’m doing now with the fraternity has specifically been behind the scenes and only when requested by the drivers. I’m along for the ride right now. And like when I’m in a car, sometimes that feeling is unnatural, but it has been enjoyable. I’m watching people who have yet to experience being in charge do a great job driving people to a place we all want to go. The driving, at points, could be smoother, but the roads and conditions they’re being given are never perfect. But they’re learning, adapting, and becoming better drivers through the trials and tribulations that leadership inevitably gives.

I couldn’t be happier sitting in the backseat for my last two months in the fraternity. The cycle continues, and the drivers are getting us to where we want to go as a chapter. I’m adjusting and getting comfortable in the back, along for the ride. If they get lost and need directions on where to go, they’re more than welcome to ask for help. I’m always here.

On a road trip, the backseat may offer us less control and autonomy over where we are going and how we are getting there. But that doesn’t make the ride any less enjoyable. Being in charge may not be our choice. Whether we enjoy it is.

When given the opportunity to drive, people can surprise us and do great things. But that requires us moving to the backseat and giving them a chance to take the wheel.

-Colby