One of the best things about living in Corvallis is that it’s always active with people around your age are always wanting to go do something. What’s interesting, to me, is that in college life, that can be so many things. Maybe that’s going off and driving to the beach or Mary’s Peak or the Cascades. Perhaps that’s going to the library to study or maybe going out to eat in the three good restaurants that Monroe St. has to offer. Or maybe, it’s going to someone’s house to drink for a while. But that lively atmosphere is gone for the next three months.

Corvallis during the summer doesn’t feel real to me. Old, run-down houses get cleared out. The bustling activity at the bars or at the fraternity houses goes completely silent. Everyone goes home. And everything goes still. My house is going through that transition. With two of my roommates completely moved out and another two gone for the week, everything in the White House is currently frozen in place. There’s no more chaos as the under-21’ers aren’t here to trash the dining room with spilled drinks and dirty solo cups. There’s no more texts from the group chats about people doing stupid stuff or inquiring if my house is available for a fam night or a pregame. The constant stack of dirty dishes in the sink that piles up less than 48 hours after you clean is finally put away for the first time in months. And in the house, there’s no more yelling from Keagan as he gets frustrated from losing an Overwatch game or shouting from David as he says something extremely stupid. There’s no welcoming atmosphere that is felt when my friends would open the front door with 30-racks and handles, ready for a night out. Everything feels still.

Truth is, I don’t know how to feel now that I’m graduated from Oregon State. And I also don’t know how to feel about sitting in ghost-town Corvallis for the next 8 weeks as I patiently wait to start my new life in Louisville, Kentucky. On one hand, I’m really sad that this era in Corvallis is at an end. I can attribute the fact that I am nearly unrecognizable to the 18-year old kid who walked into Halsell Hall during that fateful state office year because of this town and the people I connected with. It’s going to hurt seeing my younger friends in the fraternity get to make memories without me. I am somber that I won’t ever get to live with my closest friends ever again as our Life360 icons slowly spread farther and farther apart. In another way, I’m weirdly relieved that it’s over. I’m so happy that I don’t have to subject myself to living in a constant mess because our house always was needed to host fraternity events. I’m so joyous that some of the people I did not like interacting with are going away too and dealing with them is a thing of the past. I’m so excited to be able to not be weighed down by pointless classes that serve me no purpose. And I’m nervous for what’s next. I’m unsure how I will continue to change in law school. I’m angry that I didn’t accomplish more academically in the last few years because my priorities were focused on my social life, but hopeful that I can push myself to be the best over the next three years. I’m afraid of starting completely over completely across the country where I know no one. But I’m confident in the fact that I know that life is going to take me to good people that I’ll care about, similar to what the last four years have done for me. And finally, I feel really calm right now. I’m relaxed because I get to slow down for a little bit and appreciate this transition. I’m present in my plans and goals to build better habits. And I’m focused on becoming a version of myself that I want to become, and I’m appreciative of the opportunities that life is giving me right now to enjoy it.

I believe that we live life too fast. We’re constantly looking ahead to the next thing, planning something big for our futures, caught up in the little things that don’t matter, and seldom do we take the time to truly slow down and actually think about where we are now and what we are feeling. And I think the purpose of these next eight weeks, for me, is to just sit idly and reflect. Because the reality is, I still haven’t fully processed the fact that my time as an undergraduate student is done. The emotions I’m feeling about it are complex and ever-changing. But it’s important to set and reflect for a while so that we can gain a greater understanding of them and move onward.

So until August 8th, I’m going to just sit here and appreciate the stillness for a while. Sometimes, we don’t need to have grand plans and prepare for the next adventure. From time to time, we need to slow down and reflect in the moments we are in. Allow ourselves to let time pass. I know that I need that right now before life calls me to the next big adventure.

-Colby