One thing that I’ve noticed so far in law school is how the culture of it is fairly similar to high school, and very different from undergrad. Let me explain. In high school, one often is in the same classes with a lot of people. You know them by name, where they sit, and who they hang out with. In undergrad, you might know a couple of people in classes here and there, but for the most part, you walk into your class with headphones in, listen to the lecture, and head back to your house without conversing with your classmates. In high school, you feel so connected with others and in undergrad you feel so independent and on your own. Law school has been such an adjustment because I feel like I’m in high school again, and I’m not sure how to feel about it so far.

What I appreciated about undergrad is that everyone collectively goes through the phase (if they hadn’t yet already) that they realize academics and grades matter, but it’s really not that deep. If you’re active in clubs, organizations, or leadership, that’s great, but it doesn’t really make you special. And it’s great because when you stop focusing on things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, and just focus on having a good time and doing your best, life becomes a lot more fun. That just isn’t the case here in law school.

Here, almost everyone is ambitious. Going through three more years of school after undergrad isn’t exactly for the faint of heart, after all. Our class is split off into two sections and each section has almost all of their classes together. By this point, almost everyone knows each other’s name. We all have group chats, groupme’s, and hangout’s where we all share information with one another. And yes, it’s a lot like high school. There’s cliques. There’s groups. And yes, there are already people with certain reputations in our classes. But, there’s a lot of underlying competition. The 110 of us are all ranked by our grades and GPA at the end of each semester and there’s a lot of pressure to do well as you get priority to the best internships and jobs because of your higher rank. That makes things really stressful, for everyone. I’ve really begun to notice that for myself lately.

There’s been days where I get anxious about whether I was thorough enough on the reading. Or I get upset because I didn’t really understand a concept well enough when I was in class. And then I think back, and there are people going to better law schools than me, who know what they’re doing. Or I look on social media, and even though I know it’s all fake, I still can’t help but feel that I’m doing enough with my life or I’m on the right track when I see other’s highlights, and my behind-the-scenes has been a constant grind and struggle for the last couple of months. That, in itself, is bringing me to a lower point as we approach the midway point in fall term.

Even when it feels like we’re stuck in the middle of the trees, I still believe the best way to get through it is to push forward through the forest with the people around you. That’s why I just want to ignore the rankings and the comparisons and try to draw inspiration from everyone else. Everyone in law school is on the same page, it collectively sucks, but the best way we’re going to get through it is by offering a helping hand and moving together to the finish line. And at the end of the day, even if what I do doesn’t objectively compare to what someone else did, I know that I am enough. And I am hopeful that everyone else has the same belief that the objective things like rank doesn’t matter, and that we all deserve to be here, and that we get through it together.

-Colby