I’ve had a pretty bad week. Not an everything in my life came crashing down or life-altering in a tragic way bad, but more like the classic bad week that a TV character has, where nothing goes right, that’s admittedly funny to watch. But I learned a couple lessons that I wanted to share because of this no good, very bad week. Allow me to explain (and complain):

A couple of weeks ago I got a speeding ticket for going 79 in a 55. I didn’t know that the expressway (connected to I-64) had a 55-mph speed limit instead of what I assumed was a 65. I was changing lanes and sped up around this lady who I thought was going too slow (because I didn’t know the speed limit) when an unmarked cop car flashed his lights and gave me a $200 ticket. Then I got a $60 parking ticket a couple days after because I was parked for apparently being in two different spots on the side of the road downtown (I didn’t really notice the lines). So last Friday, I decided I didn’t want to keep worrying about it, and I paid them both off. Because of the lag from my Oregon vacation last month and subsequent lack of work hours, I didn’t have nearly as much money as thought as I did. I didn’t check my bank account when paying said tickets (even though they weren’t due until July 1) and paying them both off left me with $80 in my bank account to get me through an entire week before I would be paid again. I was screwed. I had to get only the literal essentials from Costco (Two rotisserie chickens, bananas, yogurts, and croissants. They are essential to me) and survive off my remaining food in my apartment, to which there is not much. Adding onto my misery, BOTH the Beavers and the Cardinals got knocked out of the College Baseball World Series (in part because they played each other twice), and I got crap from my friends on both sides whenever one or the other lost. The outside of my car has been dirty to the point where it was bothering me for weeks, but I couldn’t pay to get it washed. On top of all of that, the weather has been miserably stormy and nasty all week, so I could hardly go outside and driving on the roads in Louisville was scary at some points because of the thunderstorms. By the time my check was auto-deposited early this morning, I had less than a quarter of a tank in my Honda and virtually no food in my apartment that I hadn’t already had for a week straight. My lowest point came last night, right before the money was deposited. I got so tired of eating the same foods in my apartment that I went across the street to the convenience store with $2.50 in cash and quarters that I found in my apartment just to eat something different. I grabbed a couple packs of ramen, threw in some candy that I liked, and went up to the counter. I thought I had enough, but it turns out I didn’t account for the sales tax and the total ended up being $2.75. So I sat there, humiliated, as I told the guy behind the counter to take one of the packs of ramen out and give me the rest. The guy clearly saw me having a terrible day, so he just let me have it anyway. That was the point that I knew I was fed up with my current circumstances. So when I woke up this morning and saw my bank balance at 4 digits, not 1, I was absolutely stoked. I was FINALLY able to be happy. I had the day off, the weather was amazing, and my fortunes had reversed. Just like that, my no good, very bad week was back to being great.

I’m not writing this post to gripe and try to garner sympathy for poor, pitiful Colby who couldn’t afford his ramen; but rather, for the lesson I learned about my week and a lesson I am taking from this situation and moving forward, as can you.

The first lesson, as you likely already figured out, is that my situation was entirely the result of my own actions. Had I known the speed limit on an expressway I’ve been driving on for almost a year and not speeding, I wouldn’t have gotten the first ticket. Had I paid more attention to where the lines were, I wouldn’t have gotten the second parking ticket downtown. And had I decided to wait to pay them off until I got paid again, I would have at least had some financial wiggle room to do something to get me through the week. But no, my consequences were the direct result of my own actions. And I hurt myself because I didn’t plan this out in advance when I should have. Sure, I could blame the cop who pulled me over or the other one who gave me the parking ticket or …idk… our capitalist society for making it hard to be a law student. But it was my own actions that led to my circumstances this last week and complaining about it wasn’t going to help me. Sure, there were things that I couldn’t control that made it worse. The weather put me in a worse mood and I couldn’t control the fact that Coastal Carolina is just amazingly good at baseball for whatever reason, but that’s life. There is a small portion of it that sucks because of outside circumstances, but not all of it. And if we want to get out of the current hole that we’re in, we first have to put down the shovel and start thinking of ways to get out, not complain about how deep the hole is. My lack of planning led me to have a bad week unnecessarily. So before you start complaining about the current mess that you’re in, whatever it may be, and make yourself miserable, think about how you got there and how you caused it. And more importantly, what are ways that you can start to climb your way out? Maybe one paycheck won’t be the fix you need, but there are actions you can do to start moving into the right direction. Think about that before you start complaining about the grave you dug yourself in an attempt to get sympathy from others.

The second lesson I have from this last week came from that moment at the convenience store last night. I can joke about it now but I was really pissed off at the world, to the point where it was noticeable. When that anger turned to humiliation when I didn’t have enough cash, the guy at the counter simply said: “It’s okay, take it. You’ll pay the rest next time.” It was a small moment, and the difference was 25 cents at most. But that brief moment of humanity really meant something to me. He helped me out at a low point, even if he may not have known it. When I was on a walk today, it got me thinking about how caught up we get in our own lives and what it means to just be a human to somebody else. We don’t know what other people are going through. But we can ask, and we can make it a little easier for them to carry whatever burden they’re dealing with. That guy behind the counter didn’t fix my week. But in a moment that felt defeating, he reminded me what it means to simply look out for someone else. And that reminder stuck, that it costs nothing for me to do that for others as well.

So yeah, I had a pretty bad week. But maybe the best thing about a no good, very bad week is that it reminds you you’re not alone in having one—and that even a small act of grace from someone else can be the helping hand that pulls you partway out of the grave you dug yourself.