One of the most difficult things about this last semester is that there never was a defining narrative to place it in. I’ve been meaning to write about it for almost a month now, but I’ve been stuck because I don’t know what to say or how to reflect on it. In life, there are times when things are clean, easy-to-follow stories with an easy ending, and other times when events in our lives can have multiple meanings and it comes down to our own choices on what we take away from them.

So, in this sense, I felt the best way to reflect on what has been at times my best and worst semester ever is through a bunch of mini-lessons I’ve taken from it, rather than one overarching narrative. The fact that I don’t know what my final grades are yet is proof that I don’t have a straightforward answer about what this semester will mean in the grand scheme of things. Here are five takeaways I have from the hell that was 2L:

#1: Suffering Isn’t Cool, and You Should Not Brag About It

One of the things I’ve always been prone to doing, without necessarily realizing it, is talking about how busy I am and just how much it sucks that I’m so busy. It was only after incessantly hearing about it from other people like me that the realization clicked: that habit is so annoying.

The logic of doing that, I think, is fairly straightforward. By taking on a lot of commitments and responsibilities, a person understandably wants validation for all of the work that they are doing. But because it hasn’t turned into an actual accomplishment yet, they’re stuck in the weeds of the process, yet that need for validation is still there. And, of course, the process sucks, so the only way to get that validation for it in that moment is to complain to others about how difficult it is.

My point, which I’m now realizing, is why would you go deliberately out of your way to make yourself miserable? If you want to live the life you want… then start living the life that you want. Don’t take on extra responsibilities that are 100% optional for the sake of flexing the fact that you’re doing more than someone else. There’s no joy in overburdening yourself. Bragging about it isn’t going to change your circumstances, nor garner more respect from the people around you.

#2: Helping Others Helps You Too

It’s no secret that I love constitutional law. And the best part of this semester was getting to help teach it for the first time.

This last semester, I was the TA for Constitutional Law I, and I learned how much I actually liked teaching. Every week during my office hours, I had a crew of at least five 1Ls come up to me, and we would go over some of the different, extremely confusing topics that they learned in class. For me, it was rewarding in the sense where it felt like what you did actually mattered, and there was a tangible benefit to what you were doing for somebody else. During the final review session for that class, I went in and helped the professor I TA’d for explain the concepts by writing extensively on the whiteboard and talking through my process for how I would go about answering that type of question on an exam.

The benefit in all of this for me was that I got to take my mind off my own problems for a little bit each week by helping others with theirs. In turn, listening and working through some of the 1Ls’ issues in comprehending the content helped me realize that my problems are not unique, and I learned how to tackle the stuff that I was learning in my own classes more efficiently. In helping others, you can help yourself as well.

#3: What Goes Around Comes Around, Good & Bad

I am a really firm believer in karma. There is no such thing, in my mind, as a “good” person or a “bad” person, but people who do good actions and bad actions. The world has a really interesting way of bringing things full circle, either rewarding you for it or having it come back to bite you in the ass.

An example of this, in a good sense, is a few friends of mine who have worked really, really hard to get the positions they wanted on law review and SBA. I can tell you that all of their focus was service to others and not personal advancement, and while it was a long, difficult road full of obstacles, that was overcome and they were rewarded by achieving a goal that they had wanted. As for me personally, while I didn’t win the election for the SBA position that I had wanted, I got a position on the law review executive board in part because friends of mine vouched for me about some of the things that I have to offer and can bring to better the organization. While those results weren’t what I was expecting initially, I know at the end of the day it’s the result that will allow me to add the most value where I am.

Karma also works on the negative side. An example of this for me personally was in one of my classes where we had a portfolio document that started as a group project, but then everyone had to turn in their own document for part of our final grade. Long story short, I got tired of having to collaborate with my group pretty early in the semester, so I worked on and finished my document without telling them, and then proceeded to openly air my grievances about some of my group without actually talking to them first about going on my own. The cost of that action, of course, is that they found out what I had said and then proceeded to hold a grudge and air their grievances about me in reverse. While that whole thing eventually got resolved, it still came at the cost of the emotional nuisance of having to listen to it. Had I just proactively communicated that I was working on my own, or just kept quiet, I wouldn’t have had to deal with that situation at the end of the semester.

All in all, what goes around comes around. It may take time, but generally speaking, things have a way of coming back to reward or punish you for your actions. When you have that foreseeability is when you can start thinking ahead of how negative consequences can arise from negative decisions, and then change course to a better alternative.

#4: Be Grateful, or Be Miserable. It’s Literally Your Choice.

This one is straightforward, and it ties into #1 as well. I’ve really developed a strong dislike for people with horrible ass mindsets. Like damn, you really choose to go around thinking like that all the time.

The solution to a bad mentality is not to be positive all the time. That is also incredibly unhealthy. Rather, it’s choosing to wake up every day knowing that your life is pretty good and could be a hell of a lot worse. Every morning, without fail, I write three things in my notes app that I’m grateful for. Sometimes that’s the weather, the food I ate, the friends I have, the community I’m in, the job I work at, whatever. None of it is perfect, and every day we work to improve our circumstances. But it is your choice to focus on what you do have, or on what you don’t. And 10 times out of 10, the people I know who have a grateful mindset have better lives than the ones who have a miserable one. Your mind is the only thing within your control.

#5: Your Phone is a Lot Less Necessary Than You Think it Is

This one is more practical, but our parents were right: sometimes it really be that damn phone.

Over the past year, I’ve done the utmost to cut my phone out of my life as much as I can, because it is so addicting and unhealthy, and we lose so much connection because of it. There are so many apps that are unnecessary. I completely deleted and deactivated Snapchat, and saved the memories I actually cared about before I did that. I do my best to make Instagram an inconvenience to log onto, because it really isn’t social media anymore. It’s just addicting reels, amazing though they may be. I turned on a bunch of extensions to limit distracting websites, took off my recommended page and shorts on YouTube, became allergic to TikTok, got rid of GroupMe, and started leaving my phone in my car at work and when I’m going places. I’m obviously not completely off the grid and still text and call, but I made that device as useless as possible, and I’m so much happier than I was when I was addicted to it.

Here’s the part that took me the longest to accept: people will respect your boundaries when you actually set them. If you go quiet for a summer, or step back from the group chat, or stop being instantly reachable, the people who are meant to stay in your life will find a way to keep in contact. They’ll text first. They’ll call. They’ll make plans. The friendships that matter don’t require you to be perpetually available to survive a few weeks of distance. And honestly, stop lying to yourself by thinking that being constantly reachable equals having better relationships. It doesn’t. It just means you’re easier to reach. The hard truth is that you are not as necessary as you might think, and the relationships that matter will simply filter themselves through.

Overall, I can’t give you one straightforward lesson from the last five months. This last semester was definitely not all good, but it wasn’t all bad either. There are learning lessons in a lot of things, but it’s your choice whether you want to learn from them.

-Colby